REJUVENATED!

minimalism

INSPIRED

This week I was hit with a reality…I have not achieved set goals due to my fear and laziness. Hard pill to swallow? Yes. Is the pill for the betterment for my physical, mental, social, and spiritual health? Yes. God has told me that all is mine for the asking, as long as that ‘all’ lines up with His will and that I am obedient in all that He asks of me. Disobedience is a blessing blocker. It can delay if not annihilate what God has in store for you. I was presented with an offer this week. And as enticing as the offer was, I had to decline. Now in me being transparent, I must say that I toyed with the idea, again embracing one of my realities…and then it hit me…I shouldn’t be embracing anything. The real reality is that the presenter had not changed, the offer had not changed, and therefore the end result would be no different either. HALLELUJAH! Eureka! I finally have arrived! God is awesome and deserves my all! And because He is so awesome I know that He will make a way for me always. It’s wonderful to know that you know you have been truly delivered. I am so excited as I have also been receiving calls and emails about a business opportunity. Not from just one individual, but several. This opportunity can and (speaking prophetically) will advance my lifestyle generously. Is it not God’s ideal to bless those that love Him? He will never forsake His children.

All this to say…God loves you. Life is hard, but you can make it through with a steadfast mindset on pleasing the Creator. He knows what’s best for you and always will. Get tired of the mundane and dare to do His will and as a dear friend says ‘see what the end is gone be’. In obedience there are riches. In obedience there is love. Be encouraged that every positive move you make on your behalf isn’t for naught. It builds character. Stop settling for things of the moment and seek and yearn for what is eternal. I’m thankful for being able to see what is presented to me, for what it is and being able to rationally think it through and move forward for my good. And what I can’t decifer, I know I can phone heaven…because the old negro spiritual says, Jesus is on the mainline and all I have to do is tell Him what I want. Hallelujah! Ain’t God good?!!!!!

Proverbs 3:5 (NIV) ~ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

LOVE IS LOVE

Many think that I am bonkers because I choose to continue to love those that have hurt me. That is my charge as it is also my charge to pray for my enemies. What is the other alternative? To live with pain and regrets to the point of the manifestation of sickness. I resigned from that campaign recently. Decided to pick up my bed and go. PRAISE GOD! True deliverance in a thing really brings clarity and healing, opening up doors that would otherwise be closed due to disobedience. So why do so many that ‘love the Lord’ choose to walk with such a promulgated handicap? And in reality, many don’t see it in such a light, but wear their “lack” as a badge of honor. It’s shameful, but we all have our specific time for epiphanies. I embrace each and every one of mine.

I still love because God is love. And like so - you love the sinner, yet dislike the sin. Recently a childhood friend and not-so-long-ago love got married. I making the conscious decision, to much of my chagrin, looked to the high road and decided I would send a wedding present. Unfortunately I let the nay sayers persuade me take the road that has been trampled vs. the one less traveled. Unfortunately, I lost that battle of tug-o-war on this one and the worst of me began to surface. The ‘this dude did me wrong and I hope he gets back everything he did to me’ part of me. And even though I know that yes, what he did was wrong, I began reciting in my mind that yes “revenge is a dish best served cold”… I even had a constituent tell me that she would inflict harm upon me had I even dared use any of my money to purchase a gift for someone who did me so foul (yet not examining the plank of betrayal in her own eye, before condemning my ex to hell and possibly committing me to the ER…but that’s another post). My response was silence, once again…. Ultimately, I decided not to send a gift, as my silent protest in ‘my reality’…when in actuality I never received a formal invite or was even officially informed about the wedding in the first place. Still, I wanted to send one to let all know that all was well, as if I were even on anyone’s mind. Really wanted to do a ‘one-up’ the gossipers and show ‘em that ‘I’m just fine, even though there was a submarine that had crashed and had been shooting constant missiles in my gut for months since I became privy of the pending nuptials…Talk about having the blues man (problems with my friends, life, lost love, etc…the recipe for a great country ballad)! My prayer that night was that God forgive me for having such nasty thoughts about revenge (for vengeance wasn’t mine anyway) and that I make better decisions in the future. I wait and think of the ever so popular adage...WWJD (What Would Jesus Do, for those unlearned in modern “churchin” vernacular). I sat, cried it out, thought it out, referenced the Word and decided to pray that my ex’s union would be blessed and fruitful and also that, all who would suggest I do otherwise, that they be enlightened, delivered, and embrace the reality of God’s love. It was simpler for me to forgive and move forward in love than to delay my destiny by continually conjuring up the things to throw into my ‘pity soup’. That type of nourishment never helps anyone to grow. Thankful for this, one of many revelations in my adult life. There’s nothing greater than forgiveness and love….and I do believe we should choose to live freely and not bound by things you can’t change otherwise. In my love,….I am blessed….In my love,….I am freed….In my love,….I still believe in the possibilities of life, love, and the progression of people…In my love,…God resides therein.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. - 1 John 4:16

An Expected End

My son arrived in Raleigh late last night. He went to meet Dr. Cornel West at Princeton University on Monday for a book signing for his new book, 'Brother West: Living and Loving Out Loud, A Memoir'. My son tried to keep me up all night, reflecting on how grand his visit with Dr. West was. Appreciative for his new found wisdom, yet tired from having to wait another hour and a half for his group to arrive at location, I began to think about how awesome God is. Not that I had a doubt...but He keeps on doing what He does best...showing me what love looks like. I am so full of happy tears. Been crying since our drive home. Crying because, my son is without his father and I know that this effects him in ways that I will never know...I do know that I know that his Father in Heaven already has life mapped out for him and that all is well. AMEN! My son is just so excited about having met Dr. West. When he looked at the signatured copy of Dr. West's memoir, words cannot describe how bright his face was. Smiling on the inside and outside. I cry tears because I am so excited about what God has in store for him. I know that he will be a great man of God, hard worker, loving servant to humanity, a wonderful husband to his wife and father to his children. Even though a component is missing, links and gaps are being filled (Thank You Father) and for his good. I thank God for the men who saw a need for our black youth and are filling in where they can. Shot out to CWAE! I encourage all to speak life into their children's lives and situations. With God's help, set them up to succeed in this thing called life!

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not evil, to give you an expected end.

Doin' Me

Last Saturday I got my hair done. Not one of my numerous sew-ins or quick weaves. I actually got MY hair done today. Washed, conditioned, twisted, and styled. I must ssay that I am very proud of myself. One might ask why....well, it took a lot of courage for me to make the concious decision to let loose a part of me that I have chosen to keep concealed, as if it were a curse. Many of my culture chooses to call our hair just that...a curse. I think our hair, just like our many shades and diversity, make us the most unique humans on the face of the earth. Saturday, I left my stylist home with a sense of achievement. Not with my head down, but looking straight ahead and walking in such a way only a queen can! I went through the rest of my day wanting to skip around because I felt so free. Felt as if I let go of some very heavy baggage. I have worn my hair 'natural' for most of my life...but you wouldn't know it because it was always hidden by all the weaves I typically wear. So I felt like I had won a trillion bucks, because I sort of had a 'coming out' party and didn't care who said what about it! Then the shock set in when I got up on Sunday morning to prepare for church. Looking at myself in the mirror and loving how my hair looked. Questions went through my mind as to how people would receive me. Again, crippled by what I thought the 'world' might think actually made me consider not going to church that day. Needless to say, I went on to church and had a blast, until.... When I greeted people and was complimented on my hair, it was met with some 'tightness'...I felt as if I was receiving pity compliments..then I did the worst of all...I began to say that I didn't like my hair...and at the time I didn't because I was feeling so insecure about it. It's a sad shame how we have been conditioned to hate ourselves. Many will say that they don't hate themselves....really? So, right now I'll just speak for myself...YES, my insecurities has equaled self-hatred. What I have naturally, people in other countries are paying up to $3000 for a super tight perm, just so they can have an afro. HELLO!

Now, will I ever wear a weave again? The answer is leading toward a strong yes, however, I have chosen to never look at myself in disgust because "I can't do anything with my hair". I can do so much with it. I will embrace it and love what God has designed in me.

Make the choice today to do you! We are created and born individuals, yet so many die as clones. Be all that God made you to be and not looking to what others consider beauty. Choose to live freely! Amen

Psalm 139:14(NIV) ~ I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I know that full well.

Process....

September 24, 2009

Looked up and saw a beautiful rainbow as I sat in I-40W traffic this morning...I was overjoyed as I was reminded that God loves me and that all is and will be well, despite the hard times, broken heart, fake friends., and whatever else you can throw in the pot....I know that I know all these things have made me stronger and are pushing me to a better tomorrow. I love you Daddy♥ ! Thank You for keeping me! Amen

Hosea 2:20 - I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.

Is You Cake Fully Baked?

"I was meditating on relationships earlier and had an interesting thought. You can say that relationships are a lot like waiting for a cake to finish baking. With all the ingredients having been mixed, there's a waiting process. Now I'm no expert at baking cakes but I know that the temperature you set the oven to, determines how long it'll take for the cake to be ready. One thing to keep in mind is that the baker determines all of the beforehand, because it's his cake and he has a desired outcome. Now as the cake sits in the oven, it's given time to form and rise inside the heat of the oven, it starts to let off a sweet aroma. It's beginning to smell and look like cake, but it still needs time to cook on the inside. The surface may be beginning to brown, but when you put that toothpick in it, it'll reveal that its not quite ready. Now at this point, you're tempted to take it out before its time. If you choose not to have self-control you'll come to find that a half baked cake isn't as good as a fully baked cake. So basically, if you take it out before its time, you can spoil a good thing, slowing down its process only to find that it needs to go back into the oven a little longer. But if you wait, once it's finished, the Baker will present you with the cake you desired and waited for. So I say that to encourage those to wait it out, and let the heat of the Baker's oven shape you and form you inwardly as you wait for that which has been promised." ~ Jared 'Deraj' Wells, Christian Vocalist

I had the privilege of reading the above a week ago. Different analogy but the same message, I've heard time and time again: We must wait on the Master to perform His will in us (and our life situations), so that we may walk in our purpose and into our destiny. So often we chose to get out of the kitchen when we can't take the heat per se. But how many will agree that if the kitchen doesn't heat up, that food your hungering for and waiting on will never be allowed to fully cook? Hindsight is always 20/20 and for a lot of us, we look back and wish that we had done better and endured that 'heat'. Everything in life is about process and change. Again, everything in life is about process and change. Are you willing to be processed? Are you willing to get hot? When will we take responsibility for things that have occurred? How can we make better decisions in our lives? Decisions that would propel us into our better tomorrows and life journeys. I ask that we begin to examine our lives. Getting tired of being sick and tired and PUTTING IT ON THE TABLE!, as I like to say. LOL! Truly putting life's situations on the table and dissecting our character(s) and motives - chiseling away the junk (a lot of it spackle on by our own hands) of life that has continued to keep us caught up in our double realities. Stand steadfast, for all is not done in vain. Be blessed and move forward...even if they are baby steps!

Habakkuk 2:3 - "For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry."

Psalms 37:4 - "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desires."

Hosea 7:8 - "My people of Israel mingle with godless foreigners, picking up their evil ways. Now they have become worthless as a half baked cake" NLT